The Color Channel by Ian Smith


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Let's watch some TV.

OK they got the Food Network, Rhythmic Pounding Accompanied by Flashing Lights TV, Top Ten Lists of Persons, Places, and Things that You May Be Familiar With, and Actual Footage of Inside A Uterus/Football Scores, how bout THE COLOR CHANNEL?

Next on THE COLOR CHANNEL... thrill to the drama, the suspense, the pathos of... WHAT COLOR WILL BE DISPLAYED ON THE SCREEN NEXT?? Will it be BLUE? Or spicy newcomer RED?

They're both good colors. You may remember BLUE from such things as THE SKY, and THE SKY REFLECTED IN WATER, also ROBIN EGGS are light blue.

But what about that bad boy upstart RED? The color of CHERRIES, BLOOD, and SEXY LIPSTICK.

OK the next color... to be displayed... on the screen... will... be...

[commercial break]

OK we're back. When we left off we were going to see what the next color to displayed on your screen will be. Let's recap:

BLUE: a good guy, a family man, just trying to make it in this crazy world dammit.

RED: the one you love to hate, and hate to love, but you gotta admit, he's doing his thing.

Please direct your attention to the host and judge of WHAT COLOR WILL BE DISPLAYED ON THE SCREEN NEXT, a Stern, Derisive English Schoolmaster:

the next color to be displayed on the screen will be.................... one of the primary colors.............. it's a really good one..................................................................BLUE!!

RED please report to the gas chambers for execution. The color RED will of course be removed from the visible spectrum from now on. Thanks for watching!