Porno County by William Hrdina

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You're named after your father- he's a good man- why would you want to be named after that hippy greaseball freak?"
He thought that by wearing all black, by growing his hair long, by taking the long drive to Aimes and getting a tattoo and a lip ring- they might realize he was not like them- that he was different. To Scott's intense chagrin, no one cared enough to notice. Then the church burned down, and Scott managed to earn quite a few disdainful scowls at Peggy's lunch counter by going on about the irony of God letting his house get burned down- whether by accident or by the clumsy fumbling of Mrs. Marningham. It got so bad one afternoon, Peggy banned Scott from the counter entirely for a week.
"And when you come back Scott Slatherin- you're going to apologize to me for blaspheming in my restaurant. You're free to think whatever you want, but that church was a good place- a holy place- and it's nothing but a shame what's happened to it."
Scott, who wanted to be called Jim, wasn't just complaining to show his rebelliousness, he was also trying to impress Sarah Jane. While he ranted, she was sitting at the counter, drinking a cherry malt. Sarah Jane was the town darling- nobody was really sure what she was going to do when she grew up- but everyone knew she would do great things. Everyone liked her. Which was a problem for Scott, since nobody really liked him.
Especially not Sarah Jane. She thought he was weird- and the harder he tried to impress her- the more of a freak she thought he was. Sarah Jane attended the church Scott was mocking- there was no reason she would find his posturing cool or endearing. Yet something in Scott's adolescent mind thought it was a good idea- and so blather on about it he did.
As you can imagine, it was quite a blow to Scott's ego when Peggy gave him a tongue lashing right in front of his beloved Sarah Jane. He slunk off into the afternoon with all the sunshine now stripped out of it, washed away by his shame.
Slinking along, Scott thought of a very cruel joke he could play- a joke that would embarrass the entire town. A joke that would surely gain him the attentions of Sarah Jane.
Again, strange lay the brewings of the adolescent mind.
When Scott got home, he walked straight past his mom and locked himself in his room. The "No Trespassing" sign on the door hung with just a little extra conviction. Scott booted up his computer and began to compose an email to David Long.
Scott sent the email and moved on to some new thing- probably a trailer to the latest Superhero movie or a Youtube video of someone getting hit in the nards with a blunt object.

"Excuse me, Mr. Mayor?" Came the perpetually nervous voice of Dan, the mayor's aide.
"How many times do I have to tell you Dan? You can call me Frank."
Dan walked into the Mayor's office like a guilty man before a judge.
"Sorry, uh, Frank. But there's a Mr. David Long on the phone for you."
"David Long. He says he was interested in pursuing the business proposition you offered."
"I don't think I offered a business proposition to anyone named David Long."
Dan shrugged.

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