(Page 1 of 2) Fairies Don’t Flirt by Steve Jones -B5
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SUMMARY: Flirting flash fiction contest entry The Sheriff of Nobtree forest was a troll, and the elves were not happy about it, not one little bit. They had claimed the election had been tampered with and immediately demanded a recount as the trolls cheered and started drinking, and the fairies completely missed the point. So when Varilantoncea, a young elf with dark hair and misty eyes, walked into the sheriff's office, Sheriff Boglo Stimp was on his guard. A troll cannot be too careful when dealing with elves.
"You must help me," Varilantoncea said, once he'd introduced himself and waited impatiently as Boglo wrote down the name. Elves were always a hurried lot, as if some detail might escape their grasp if they were to relax for more than just the merest of moments.
"Beer?" Boglo asked, thinking the youngling could use a little liquid relaxation.
"I've been robbed you stupid troll!"
He was beginning to sound like an elf with some kind of problem. Boglo relaxed a bit. His visit would be official after all.
"If you want me to do something about it," Boglo said glaring up at Varilantoncea. Even a youngling should know this. "Then you have to tell me the whole story. Tell it from beginning to end, and leave out no detail."
"I was at the spring festival," the elf started.
"Three days ago," Boglo said.
Varilantoncea bristled a little, caught his breath and continued.
"It was first night, I was just standing to the side," the elf said. "Minding my own business and watching the festivities when a fairy came around and started flirting with me."
"Fairy's don't flirt," Boglo said. The elf looked at him as if he didn't understand, so he added. "They're ethereal."
The elf bristled again, obviously this was his preferred story telling style, though Boglo found the irritated interludes distracting.
"She said her name was Lapris," Varilantoncea said. "The ‘s' is silent of course. She asked what I did. Where I had my clothes tailored. What I like in a female. Whether I'd ever been kissed by a fairy. Those kinds of things. As we talked she would land on my shoulder, or touch my hair, or play with my finger tips."
"It does sound like she was flirting with you," Boglo admitted. "What happened next?"
"She asked me whether I had ever walked a fairy home."
"And did you walk her home?" Boglo asked. He was beginning to form a theory on this strange case.
"I started to," the elf said. "I think I did, but then I blacked out. I don't know what happened. I woke up this morning laying in a grove, my money and jewels, all gone."
"Which grove?" Boglo asked. His theory was correct, he was sure, but there was more information to be collected.
"Butterpail grove," the elf said.
It was a fair walk from the villiage in Nobtree forest, the elf must have walked directly to his office, assuming he awoke shortly after sunrise.
"Then I have solved your problem," the Sheriff said proudly. "Lapris, the ‘s' being silent, wasn't a fairy. She was a wraith in disguise."
The elf did not look very impressed.
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